You’re out with your boyfriend and it’s the end of the meal, the check comes and he grabs it and pays, again. In an age where people seem to fluctuate between new world ideals and old world values, it can be difficult to figure out how to act or react to your boyfriend is paying for everything. It may seem like a sensitive subject but it doesn’t have to be too complicated. You can figure out where you stand on the issue, and then learn how to show your appreciation or make alternate agreements.
Evaluate how you feel. Take some time and check in with yourself about how you feel when he pays for everything. There is a chance that if you’re reading this article, you might be uncomfortable with it for one reason or another. Know that there is no right or wrong way, only how you feel about it. Ask yourself why you are okay with it or why you are not.
- Do you like feeling pampered or spoiled by him?
- Are you concerned that he’s paying for everything when he doesn’t have the money to do so?
- Do you worry he feels obliged or obligated for some reason?
- Does it bother you when he refuses to let you pay for something, or even split the cost in half?
- Does he offer to pay because he thinks that you cannot afford to pay?
- Do feel obligated to him or like you have to acquiesce to his requests because he pays? This can include any impacts to your physical relationship or the control of the relationship.
- Do you think he pays to show off?
Consider where your relationship is. Think about where you are in the relationship and why he might be doing this. Have you just started dating? Or are you just “seeing each other” and haven’t made it exclusive yet? If so, he may be paying for everything to impress you or because everything is new. Maybe you two just have different attitudes towards money. If you have been dating for awhile and he’s always paid, maybe he feels like he has to keep paying or maybe it’s time to revisit how you manage finances as a couple.